Ex Said She Needs to Find Herself With My Ex Again
Me and my ex girlfriend are both xx years sometime and had dated for nigh 5 years. Our human relationship was generally very practiced and we loved each other very much. About 4 months agone, she broke upwards with me, telling me that she needed time to find herself, be independent, and feel life on her own. She insists that I didn't exercise anything wrong but she feels that she has to do this for herself. We are in our junior year of college and she has recently felt that she put most of the effort into our human relationship. She has told me that she nevertheless loves me and that this "doesn't mean nosotros won't be together in the future, just information technology's merely hard to know exactly when". She has also said that she doesn't know if nosotros have a future simply it's possible and I should go on hope. She keeps in contact with me, has asked to see me earlier and says she misses me. However she still "but doesn't know what she wants correct now" and doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. I've tried going no contact for a while and she seems to miss me but she also seems to change her heed about how she feels constantly. Ane minute she "realizes that I've been good to her and she's sorry" but the next "she but has to do it for herself and she needs to be independent".
I don't desire to wait around forever but I've told her that I will give her fourth dimension and space if that's what she needs. I don't know what I should practice in this situation. Nosotros had talked about union and a hereafter together and she used to say how much she loved me and how perfect everything was. Now things have changed so quickly and I don't know what to do. Any advice?
#2
12 years ago
Hi Dave,
I am lamentable to hear this. 3 weeks ago I had the same with my girlfriend. We were alsmost nine years together and iii weeks agone she told me that she needs to work on herself. I was carrying to much on my shoulders regarding my family unit and didn't spend enough beloved and attending with her, so she decided to break upward. The only difference with y'all is that she doen't want to accept whatever contact with me. I call back the best thng to do is to carry on with your life. I know it'south very difficult, simply at that place is no other way unless she changes her mind. Attempt to take care of yourself and brand sure you are attractive. This style she tin can meet the person which she felt in dear with five years ago. Don't endeavor to weep, because that will only set up you more autonomously from her.
Good luck homo!
#three
11 years ago
The same affair happened to me. Nosotros're both 20 years old and have been together for ii and a one-half years. This girl is my globe and I can't stand to recall of my life without her in it. She bankrupt up with me almost 5 days ago and is constantly telling me to go on with my life. She says she still loves me and that who knows mayhap in the future we'll exist back together, but for now she needs to find herself and exist independent. I'm determined to go her dorsum somehow. I've already started working out once again and hitting the books in school so she sees the person she fell in dearest with. I weep every day and every night thinking almost her, there is no way I tin give her upwardly. Right now I'm trying to distance myself from her as much as I tin and simply pray to God that she misses me and realizes that we should exist together. I also have been looking for answers on the net but all I've found is people in our aforementioned situation. I wish you both the best.
#4
11 years ago
well same story with me my gf of 3 years bankrupt up with me well my reason was that we were having quite a few disputes/fights she said she still loves me but dont want to get back and i should motion on its been 2 months since
merely information technology tends to happen in long relationships that yous tend to loose feelings and interest for yous partner and try to avoid them.
i have seen that most oft girls are the one who broke-up in long duration relationships may they know that its easy for them to find a new guy as compared to us.y'all deceit go into their psychology but go on your fingers cross and proceed guessing
i will advice y'all guys to motion on if they will come dorsum its good if non thn yous atleast accept the satisfaction that yous have move on a bit and not at the same place.i have seen people who just keep waiting for their ex to come back even for years as a result if they dont come dorsum afterwards yr they still are at same place where they were a year ago .no heeling zilch what so ever.y'all cant fight with your luck just you can hope that luck is at your side
i believe if she is in your luck than nobody can terminate her from coming dorsum but if she is not than there is no point in crying.it hurts but you have to face the reality
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#5
11 years ago
I recommend a no contact for a while on this one. Updates on birthdays or holidays fine, only in general steer articulate of spending fourth dimension or talking on a regular basis to your ex. It fools the mind into seeing what information technology wants and only confuses you more than. And if people know they have you still in their lives, they will take that line for every bit long as it will stretch earlier they have to make a decision to sever ties or not. It lets them take their sweet old time deciding what they want while prolonging your misery. The sometime partnership has at present go a one sided crutch.
I feel that she may be genuine and honest most what she'southward said. She needs time for herself to decide what she wants in the future. it may include you, information technology may not. At xx, she is young and has years ahead of her to observe this.The sometime adage "its not you its me is" tin can really be truthful. She still cares for you and then she keeps contact, and its hard for her to just let go of that emotional comfort, like it is for you. I don't think it was an easy choice for her but i she all the same fabricated. In that location are two deciding factors in relationships hither:
1.) How y'all make someone feel (love)
2.) Timing (can they handle and reciprocate that now)
For today, motion on with your studies and friends and endeavour to let her be; if she misses yous it volition only be when the timing is correct and she has been able to realize what value y'all have in her life.
#half dozen
xi years ago
Trust me homey I know what ur going thru. My girl said the samething after a twelvemonth beingness together. We even still live together for now but thats changing next calendar week. Women go thru these periods. Some women never got a take chances to feel life...it's upseting and hurtful simply only go on to do you. Get business organization showtime dating again. My older blood brother told me "the way to go over a girl is to get another girl". It's been two full weeks and we dont even conversate like we employ to. Simply it'southward cool because I'grand talking to an one-time friend plus other girls. I got back into my music and focusing on my kids in florida. Right now just go on play like she aint even important. Trust they come dorsum especially if you lot been good to them.
#seven
eleven years ago
Leon well i concur with you to some extent regarding the point "women at some point in time need chance to enjoy their life" actually whenever a women/girl has a relation with a guy they are often restricted and are forced to live in sure boundaries as men are more often than not controlling.women can behave this thing to certain fourth dimension span just then they start to get irritated and bored past their partner they want to explore the world on their own without any restrictions they want to talk other boys ,and they want to do things they wish so they have to sacrifice or should say leave their current relationship.
as far every bit their coming back is concerned information technology depends .if their new life is better and then the life they spent with you then their is no chance of getting dorsum hateful why the hell would they come up if the are more than happy without you
yeah merely if their new life is not so practiced equally compared to the time they spent with y'all then they will come back sooner or subsequently
#8
10 years ago
I merely read this stories i think you all accept to motion on if your partner will miss you lot & want to be with you so she volition come back but you are non suppose to call back about your partner & cry & all ...
Every day is new mean solar day so lets start your new life till the time you will miss that girl you wont able to move on the best idea i can give you that just proceed yourself decorated considering if you are decorated yous wont get fourth dimension to think nearly your partner ...
Keep your self busy in dissimilar activities....
#ix
10 years agone
I accept a similar story, except shes 28 and im xxx, we were engaged, she asked me for it, we are in a long altitude relationship now though. Did whatever of you guys had any possitive experience with this since it happened long time agone now? Please reply...i need some reasurance or conclusion or anything...i love this girl, we had a time to come together planed, she planed for the wedding and all!
#10
10 years ago
Oh my gosh man! This is the aforementioned exact affair that is happening to me. I have read downwards to view other comments and they are all pretty much the aforementioned. My daughter and I accept been dating for a while, it'll be a year coming upward in March. For the longest fourth dimension, she was so clingy and everything. But I sure liked it. When I got up, she followed. I called her my "lost puppy dog". This girl used to be completely obsessed with me. But it'due south like overnight, she just changed. I don't empathize what I did to make this happen. She says that she needs some time to think and exist independent. There is no other guy. She says she loves me and she feels terrible that nosotros are in this interruption. She claims that information technology is her fault and not mine. She besides says she misses me. She actually called me terminal night when I was practicing with the band and I stopped everything and when outside to take the call. She apologized for being hateful and wanted me to understand where she is coming from. She says that nosotros volition eventually reunite one twenty-four hour period but not like in a week...she just needs time. This girl, I would practise anything for. She wants me to be happy merely I merely can't. I have little to no friends and I by and large just lay in bed and call up. I accept constantly remembered memories of all of our good times. Everything reminds me of her. I am suffering. In fact, at times, I have idea about just taking my own life. But I know that would hurt her. I spent $40 on a stupid human relationship book that did not help me in the least. The same day I purchased, I read information technology through. Nothing. She may come visit me for a flake on Valentine'south Day. We accept stuff at one another's place. I just don't know what to exercise. I am falling behind in school. I have no friends. And I just search the internet for answers and waste money on stupid honey books that don't help and on alcohol. I experience I am destroying myself. I only hope this doesn't happen to anyone else. Because it hurts...specially when y'all know you lot have found that one person you are eternally continued with.
#11
10 years ago
Me too. Do no contact. Don't break it even for holidays and birthdays. Get in clear yous don't want to be friends and you lot still love her, and disappear. Give her all the space she needs. If she wants y'all back, she will come up back. If she doesn't, move on. Don't worry most anything, don't transport her annihilation, don't beg. I did that and mine reconnected with me, just things are conspicuously damaged and will have a long time to fix, if ever. She isn't happy with her decision though.
#12
10 years ago
Exactly what happened with me, i was with my ex for almost 5 years till the day she said she wanted to find herlsef once again which was well-nigh 2 months ago. I never idea it was a guy backside the story,but it was. 3 days after break upwards she was already dating with another person that had just met about some weeks before, i got destroyed and damaged till death, i am notwithstanding.Anyway, she wanted to keep contact with me and be friends,i tried but i couldnt, the pain was incredible, then i told her that i would get in very clear, i even so loved her and i couldnt be her friend, i wanted her love, non her friendship. So im making NC, it was been 2 weeks, i even so miss her alot,only i guess its the all-time i tin exercise for myself now.
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#13
x years ago
Hey Dave
Brother I'm going through the same thing, she 19 I'm 22 she wanted independence and I gave it to her... On my b-day Mon -_-
#14
9 years agone
How u doing and did she finally come up too her senses??
#15
9 years ago
It'southward cracking that you respect her conclusion..I wish i'd done the same thing years ago, ask for infinite and notice my own self before committing to a relationship. There'southward so much out there and and i think information technology's off-white for both of you to explore a little bit.
also, spend fourth dimension doing what you want to do or take always wanted to do at present that she's not effectually. travel, piece of work, report, why not grab this opportunity for yourself too?
#16
9 years ago
Kitty just why accept that chance ??? Normally when something is dandy information technology great for a reason ... And if your will to hazard some special on a selfish need then in that location is something wrong wit u..
#17
9 years ago
Link wrote:
Kitty but why take that risk ??? Ordinarily when something is groovy it great for a reason ...
Exactly. And they may say they love y'all and your relationship and closeness, but when you enquire for freedom to "see what else is out there", then you're basically saying your partner's not good enough for you lot. Non good plenty to continue you.
And that just literally takes abroad somebody's life.
#xviii
9 years ago
hey, I as well also experienced that. I have had four yrs and 8 months relationship with my ex. She was merely 15 and i was 17. Now she's xx and I'chiliad 22. After all the years weve been through. I realized all the mistakes I've done. Being to controlling, manipulative and possessive. I never realized her feelings for me is deteriorating. At present "Acceptance" hither is a must. I've been too depressed the whole calendar month of baronial 2012. She said she wants time for herself. she besides told me We should move on with our lives. The reason for her leaving is she didn't have the time to savor her college years because nosotros're classmates since college and nosotros're almost fighting everyday.
Since nosotros started working, Its the commencement of u.s.a. beingness apart. weve been together in our small world for 4yrs. were classmate, seatmate, etc. Nosotros are ever together. I call up she felt suffocated in our world. We are now employed on a different companies. I think existence apart and having piece of work also has a big factor of her seeing new things and leaving me behind. It hurt and then much, but you cannot alter the things that are meant to be.
When i started to insist her non to exit and tell her what about our future? (We've always talked most our future when were together.) She tells me to move on and dont remember of the futurity because only God knows what lies on our time to come and the important thing correct now is to dearest myself and brand decisions for myself. If we're meant to be. Then were meant to exist. For now i desire to be lonely and complimentary.
It really hurts. But moving on is very difficult since you love her so much. But there volition come a time you lot volition empathise and accept things the way it should exist. Always pray to God for his guidance. Make yourself busy. Improve yourself. For the mean solar day comes if she comes back, She'll see the new you. but I'm not telling you to improve yourself for her. Ameliorate yourself for yourself's sake. For Her is only a bonus. Always continue your head high. At that place's time for all of things. 👍
#19
9 years ago
Has anyone who has ever been in this situation had it work out where they did get dorsum with their ex?
#20
9 years ago
I recently came into a state of affairs very similar to everyone else, except mine is not so long; the daughter im dating is my best friend, we became friends the first day I moved to a new land and in that same year we dated, puppy love at most, it lasted like 2 months and and then I don't remember what happened afterwards that it was most vii years agone. five months ago we started talking excessively again and we dated she couldn't get plenty of me and I got caught upwardly with her that everyday we would arctic, this went on for 5 months we are still 'together' but last calendar week we had a small dispute over something to do with being on time to work an she stopped talking to me even after she apologized and that I replied I wasent really mad at her to begin with, simply she simply stopped talking even goes as far equally to hide what she'due south did with her friends from me and prevarication most what she did when I already know what she did its goose egg bad either is what bothers me. She finally said that 'she wants time to herself' and that'south all she said I talk to her very little if at all durin the past week, I'grand very confused because we care for each other like golden, I was even thinking of proposing on her altogether..
Similar the rest of you all I really hope something works out because its one of those situations where no 1 is in control; it's horribly painful and I empathize dearly, y'all must piece of work through information technology and give her that infinite; like so many others say if it's meant to be and then she will come dorsum, if not its time to movement on with life considering information technology will fly past y'all without you fifty-fifty knowing
#21
9 years ago
Guys, take it from me...or dont. DONT WASTE YOUR Fourth dimension WITH SOMEONE WHO CARES So MUCH ABOUT YOU THAT THEY NEED TO Recollect IF THEY LOVE YOU OR Non! I was in that train, it took me a yr to recover, my life was a mess, still is cause of what happened i had a trauma. Appreciate YOURSELF dont be a low life and let anyone brand you lot feel less worthy.
Whoever treats you like this, turn your backs on them, they dont even deserve to hear you lot say farewell....possibly f* off merely.
I know thats not what you wanna hear, but thats the truth and yous know it!
#22
ix years agone
Im heart broken... I have a girlfriend who has been with me for a half a year now and i love her and then much and screw all you who say otherwise... anyways we were so happy together and then one day bout a month ago she fabricated a new frend who everyone says is a complete **** to all his gfs and uses them for sex an recently my gf started burdensome on this guy!!!! I hav been crying nonstop hoping and praying that this thing will all wash over and she says that she needs a break to sort through her emotions an that we will for certain go dorsum together... And i really really wana believe that but im so scared that she is gonna choose this guy over me.. and if she does.. i dont want to exist that puppy in the sidelines waiting for her.. basicaly.. I dont wanna be her final resort or back up bf.. But again she says that she loves me and so much and that i shoud believe her wen she says that.. She too cries all the time cause i guess she is too scared that she volition end upwardly lovin this guy instead.. And what **** me off is that she says i dont understand and that she is and then miserable right now amd i say Actually?? YOUR miserable??! U take any idea how rough i hav information technology right now?? Existence strung along, non knowing wat ur thinking and not knowing if you really mean information technology wen u say u love me?? i really really wanna save this relationship without breaking up with her crusade i wanna stay with her for as long as possible Please someone gimme some practiced advice that doesnt involve me leavin her.. or tell me somthin that volition gimme promise... I simply feep so depressed right at present..
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#23
9 years ago
I'chiliad sorry to hear about your situation ... In my opinion yous need to remain calm and positive ... Practise little things that remind her of the good times you both had. If your a mess and crying it volition create a negative effect and push her away more.
I wish yous luck
#24
9 years ago
I dont human activity like this effectually her i attempt to be happy round her and make her express mirth an do u think the reason that she feelin this way is cause she and i havnt been hanging out in the past few weeks? Crusade we havnt gotten the chance practice exercise annihilation sexual in a while ya know? I wanna re create that spark for her
#25
9 years ago
You tin can re-create that ... But just you know how ... You know what she likes simply be spontaneous 😊 exercise something no ones ever done for her 😊
#26
9 years ago
And so today was wen she wanted the break so shoud i ignore her? Or shoyd i even so be happy round her? Wats can i practise that will non drive her abroad from me u hav any idea?
#27
9 years agone
Oh yea and practise u think its normal for this to happen in a rlationship? Ppl say it is only yo this extent?? I but dont know
#28
9 years agone
Simply remain happy you want positivity around y'all right now.
Aye this is normal it happened to me alot throughput a 5 year relationship I simply stayed happy and focused on myself for a piffling while.
#29
9 years agone
Thanx man u helpd me alot an at present i hac the hope i demand 😊 i feel confidemt now and wen i think bout it.. if she actually does love me similar she says she does.. so she will make the right decision
#30
9 years ago
No problem I'm happy to help.
Good luck 😊
Source: https://www.relationshiptalk.net/ex-girlfriend-needs-time-to-be-independent-and-find-herself-3808032.html
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